The other night, a text came through that made me laugh out loud.
“Are there really German names of grapes… or drunken slurs?”
I stared at my phone for a second and shot back,
“Where did that come from?”
She replied, “I was trying to pronounce some wine names and my kid asked if I was speaking drunken slurs.”
Well… that’s when I knew two things:
- This needed investigating.
- That teenager is not entirely wrong… depending on how many glasses deep you are 😄
So the next morning—coffee in hand, cinnamon toast not far behind—I went down a rabbit hole.
And what I found?
Not just an answer…
But a story—with a sense of humor baked right in.
🍇
Yes… They’re Real (And Slightly Intimidating to Say Before Coffee)
Names like
Riesling,
Gewürztraminer,
Spätburgunder, and
Müller-Thurgau are very real.
They’re also the kind of words that make you pause mid-sentence like:
“Can I get a glass of… Gewürz… Gewurtz… you know what, I’ll just point.”
No shame. We’ve all been there.
🌿
A Lake That Learned to Speak “Wine”
Long before Keuka became what it is today, early growers tried to plant European grapes here—and failed.
The winters were too cold.
The vines didn’t make it.
The lake basically said,
“Not today.”
Until someone came along who didn’t take no for an answer.
🍷
The Man Who Changed Everything (And Probably Said the Names Correctly)
In the 1950s,
Dr. Konstantin Frank arrived with a belief that would reshape the Finger Lakes.
He knew European grapes could grow here—if done right.
And suddenly, those tongue-twisting names…
Riesling
Gewürztraminer
Spätburgunder
…weren’t just hard to pronounce.
They were thriving.
(And somewhere, I like to imagine Dr. Frank gently correcting everyone’s pronunciation while sipping wine and smiling.)
😂
Let’s Be Honest… They Do Sound Suspicious
Now here’s where your friend’s daughter enters the chat again.
Because say this out loud:
“Gewürztraminer.”
Go ahead. I’ll wait.
Now say it after a glass of wine.
Be honest… it does start to sound like you’re casting a spell or arguing with your tongue.
German words tend to:
- Stack meanings together
- Use sounds like “sch,” “pf,” and “tz”
- Make you feel like you should clear your throat halfway through
But they’re not nonsense.
They actually mean something:
- Gewürz = spice
- Traminer = from a town called Tramin
- Spätburgunder = “late Burgundy”
So no… not drunken slurs.
Just… very enthusiastic vocabulary.
🌅
From Tongue-Twister to Tradition
Today, those same grapes thrive along Keuka’s hillsides.
And somewhere between the first awkward attempt at saying their names…
…and the second glass…
They become familiar.
Comforting.
Even a little fun.
Because nothing bonds people faster than collectively mispronouncing something and then laughing about it.
🍷
Spotlight: Dr. Frank’s — Where It All Took Root
If there’s one place where this story truly comes to life, it’s right here:
Dr. Konstantin Frank Winery
Perched above Keuka Lake, this isn’t just a winery—it’s where everything changed.
This is where those once “impossible” European grapes proved they belonged.
Where tradition met determination.
Where the Finger Lakes found its voice in the world of wine.
And yes… where you can bravely attempt to pronounce
Gewürztraminer in public.
(Pro tip: Smile confidently. Sip immediately. No one will question you.)
🌿
Visit
📍 9749 Middle Rd, Hammondsport, NY 14840
🌐
ksdrfrankwines.com
Take your time when you go.
Stand on the terrace.
Look out over the lake.
Let the breeze carry the quiet hum of history.
Because this isn’t just a tasting…
It’s a place where a belief took root—and never left.
💬
A Thought (and a Tip) to Take With You
So the next time you’re at a winery and staring at a label that looks like it might fight back…
Just smile.
Take a breath.
And if all else fails, confidently say:
“I’ll have the one I can’t pronounce.”
They’ll know exactly what you mean.
And if a teenager nearby asks if you’re speaking in drunken slurs…
Just raise your glass and say,
“Nope… just speaking fluent Keuka.”
Stay Rooted. Stay Keuka. 🍷🌿
